BtVS: WHAT??!
by Leni
Summary: B/A, C/D, A/X, W/O... was that even a summary?


  
Title: WHAT?!!  
AUTHOR: Leni   
DISCLAIMER: Buffy is happy, Oz never left, Angel is human and Doyle is alive... Yup, definitely mine.   
DISTRIBUTION: Just ask.  
TIMELINE: Whenever you want.  
SUMMARY: See Disclaimer.  
RATING: Uh... I don't know...PG-15??? Tell me if I'm wrong.  
COUPLES: C/D, A/X, W/O, and... B/A!!  
AN: I'm recovering from a MAJOR writer's block so blame my absent muse for this.  
FEEDBACK: Of course...it's like blood in my veins, like chocolates in V-day, like music in my life... Get the picture? Be nice and send it. dani_vasq@hotmail.com  
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*Sunnydale*  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
Willow raised her head at the scream. She had just been dreaming about Oz and her promised surprise for Valentine's day...  
  
Damn Buffy. Couldn't she care that some people were sleeping peacefully and having GREAT dreams?  
  
She was about to tell her friend to shut up and let her sleep some more when she noticed that Buffy was not there anymore. In the place she'd been only a second before there was a cordless phone and a annoying voice emanating from it.  
  
"Buffy?... Buffy??"  
  
Willow shrugged.   
  
Just another day at the Hellmouth.   
  
She was already asleep when Cordelia decided to hang up.  
  
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*L.A*  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
Cordelia sighed. Were men always that dense?  
  
"She_is_coming." She repeated as if talking to a small child.  
  
Angel paced back and forth in the small office. Cordelia reminded herself for the thousandth time that it wasn't necessary to close the curtains anymore. It was difficult to get used to the sunlit room now, it was as if she, too, had grown accustomed to the darkness. She stared absently at the figure moving restlessly in front of her. Had he always been so hot? Some girls had all the luck...  
  
"She can't."  
  
She snapped out of her reverie.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"She can't come, Cordy. It's impossible. What am I going to say? What am I going to do? What is *she* going to do?" She had to suppress a giggle. Powerful, all-mighty Angel was acting like a teenager. With a very good reason but still...  
  
"Come on, Angel. You know everything is going to be alright." 'Or at least I hope so. If Buffy leaves him all broody once again I'm going to...' She left the thought unfinished realizing the futility of it. Buffy *was* coming and that was all.  
  
... except for the fact that Angel was quietly slipping out the room.   
  
"Angel!"  
  
Caught unaware he stopped in his tracks.  
  
"Where the hell do you think you're going to, Mister?" Angel looked at her sheepishly. She began to advance towards him menacingly. "I SO do not plan to tell your ex-honey that you are not home today. You wouldn't want me to do it, would you?" She smiled. Angel gulped nervously. He had seen that sweet smile somewhere else... just before a vampire was dusted. He let himself be lead to the couch. He was doomed anyway.  
  
"Now, Angel," she continued "be a good boy and stay here till she comes. I'm going to do some coffee." Angel cringed. Cordelia's coffee was now somewhat edible, but he really had pitied Doyle and Wesley the first time he drunk it....  
  
"And don't brood! I don't wanna explain Buffy why her boyfriend ended up in the hospital!" Angel had to smile at the image of Cordy beating him up. He wondered if it would be necessary after drinking the coffee. Did she just say...  
  
"I'm NOT her boyfriend!" Not that he would complain if he were...  
  
  
*Some time later*  
  
After the coffee - which wasn't *that* bad - they had been chatting amiably for a while. Cordy had rapidly grown tired and had dozed off in the place, leaving Angel to wonder and fear the ineludible confrontation.   
  
Angel felt Cordelia awakening slowly from her slumber.   
  
"Are you sure she is coming?" He still didn't know which answer would he prefer.  
  
"I guess so. Why else would she hung me up?" She asked while trying to lose up some knots in her hair. She didn't notice the smirk in Angel's face at her question. "Oh man! I'm never going to sleep on a couch again. Look at this!" She showed him a strand of hair. "It'll be ages before I manage to untangle this... and Doyle is picking me up at 8. I'm SO not going to be ready..." She mumbled.  
  
"Is someone here?"  
  
Angel straightened immediately. He suddenly found out that he couldn't speak or move. As always, Cordelia resolved the situation.  
  
"You there, Buffy? Come on, we're in here" Steps could be heard nearing the living room. Angel began to squirm in his seat. He wanted to run. Where was a stake when you needed it? Not that it would be of any use now but still... He couldn't take this, he just couldn't. And his friend's quiet voice didn't calm him down. "Now I'm going to leave you two alone. You better have reconciled when I'm come back or else..."   
  
"Cordelia?" Of all the images Buffy had expected to find when coming here this certainly was one of the very last: Cordy and Angel sitting *together*, like old friends, in a *sunlit* room. Was it just her impression or was Angel even more handsome?  
  
"Hi Buffy!"  
  
The enthusiast voice of her friend brought her back to reality.  
  
"We've been waiting for hours! Well, I gotta go but you stay here with Angel and... do whatever you want." Cordelia stopped at her words and looked pensive for a moment. Then she shrugged it off. They wouldn't do it today, would they?   
  
She left the room leaving two very confused and very in love people in there.  
  
"Hi Angel." Had she been practicing her speech the whole trip for this lame 'hi Angel'?  
  
He smiled and gestured towards the couch. She sat down at his side _so_very_near_ to him that he could even smell her cologne.   
  
He had a little scar on his cheek, she had never noticed it before. Must be the sunlight.  
  
Sunlight.  
  
The reason of this all.  
  
"I guess we have to talk" She said quietly.  
  
"I know" The time of the truth had finally come. How was he to explain everything to her? The Powers That Be, his redemption, his gift and his everlasting love... it would be hours before he could even truly begin to make some sense from the mess his unlife had been in the last months.  
  
"Do we really have to?" Did the whys and the hows really matter? She had had only a thing in her mind since the word 'human' was even mentioned over the phone...  
  
Angel raised his eyebrows.   
  
"Only if you want."   
  
Women! He couldn't understand them, not even if he had lived for all eternity. He had expected her to be mad, to be crying, at least to be curious but this... All thoughts flew out of his mind the second her mouth met his own.  
  
Nope, definitely no complaining there.  
  
  
*Sometime later*  
  
"WHAT??!!"  
  
Angel cringed at her shriek.  
  
"Cordelia? *Our* Cordy going out with a half-demon??? To think that she said *I* was strange"  
  
Angel smiled at the memory of Doyle and Cordy kissing sweetly when they thought he wasn't seeing... only to go back to their fight the moment he stepped in the office. But going back to the matter at hand... "Well, baby, you are dating an ex-vampire, isn't that kind of strange??"  
  
Buffy snuggled closer to him, her breath tickling on his neck. "I guess... but we *all* are strange. I mean, look at Willow being a witch and dating a werewolf, Xander falling in love with an ex vengeance-demon and now Cordy with a..." She was cut off by Angel's lips.   
  
"...half demon.", she finished breathlessly and returned the kiss passionately.  
  
*10:30 p.m.*  
  
"Uhmm... Be careful, Angel, I really could get used to this." Angel looked at his lover, stretched lazily on his bed, swallowing _so_very_slowly_ her ice cream. "However did you know I just LOVE mint-chip-cookie-dough-fudge ice cream?"  
  
Angel wondered for a moment if he should tell her about that day. His thoughts were interrupted by the strange sensation of a sticky and cold *thing* on his chest. He looked at Buffy questionly... and surprised a mischievous grin on her face...  
  
'Déjà vu' was the last coherent thought that crossed his mind for a long time.  
  
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*10:30pm. Somewhere else in L.A*  
  
"WHAT??!"  
  
All customers raised their heads at the noise. Cordelia glared at them as if telling to mind their own business. She then returned her eyes to the man in front of her... then to the little box in the middle of their table... then to the man... the box... man...  
  
"Is this a joke?" She whispered furiously. "Cuz if it is I swear you, Francis Doyle, you'll be wishing to have died in that ship. I'll...I'll..."  
  
"Calm down, Princess. It's for real." He took the ring out of the box carefully and took her hand. "It's even real gold. I've been saving for it for some time. Angel helped me to pick it." He placed it just above her ring finger. "Do you accept?"  
  
She stared absently at the ring as if it were some alien. "Oh my God." She whispered. "You really are proposing. You really want to get married. Oh my God"  
  
Doyle's smile faltered a bit. "Don't you want to?"  
  
"Of course I wanna. But... b-but I'm too young. And... a-and Angel will close the agency and I won't have a job and you won't have a job a-and... oh my God." Great, now she was stuttering.  
  
"Who told you that, Cordy? The agency will continue functioning. It's not for nothing that Angel still has his strength. And we'll have our jobs and I'm not planning on marrying tomorrow, you know. I'm not like our friend, I actually can wait. So I'm asking again. Cordelia Chase, will you do me the honor of being my wife in a not-so-near future?  
  
Cordelia stared again at the ring. A simple band with a simple ruby, not the one she had dreamed of. But she knew that the hand holding it would be the only one to always help her. There was only a thing to do.  
  
"Yes."  
  
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*The next day. Magic Box*  
  
  
"WHAT??!"  
  
Willow sighed. Were men always that dense?  
  
"Angel is human. Buffy is with him." Willow couldn't decide if laugh or be mad at his expression. It was a mix of surprise, distrust and defeat. Poor Xander, all this time and he still hadn't got over his hate for Angel.  
  
"But...but... " He just couldn't believe it. Buffy with Angel?? *Again*?? Angel *human*?? Too much information at the same time. He was still trying to process it all when his girlfriend's voice interrupted his musings.  
  
"When will she come back? This is the Hellmouth, you know, there should be a law against Slayers leaving their helpless friends unprotected..."   
  
Willow glared at her friend's girlfriend. Did that girl only think about herself? If she hadn't witnessed the scene with the troll that day she wouldn't believe Anya was in love with Xander...  
  
"Uhmm... I don't know. She called some time ago. Said she would be here tomorrow first thing for her History-class. Demanded not to interrupt her cuz she would be very... uhmm... busy."  
  
Xander's ears perked at this. Anya only grinned.  
  
"Yeah, I bet she will be 'busy'. So that's why she hasn't been researching with us tonight, huh?? Well, in her place I would have run to have sex with him, too." Anya said as tactlessly as always. Willow blushed at her bluntness.  
  
"Did she *run* to him?" Xander half asked, half whined.  
  
Willow considered briefly what to respond, after all she only half-remembered the scene. "Well... let's just say that it didn't even pass one minute between her surprised shriek and her racing towards the car." Yeah, the shriek and the footsteps which had maintained her awake for some moments before going back to her... interesting... Oz-dreams. Willow blushed as she remembered them...  
  
"Xander! Willow is thinking about sex and Buffy is at it right now. Can't we go home and have our own 'busy' time"  
  
Xander glared incredulously at his friend. Willow blushed even more.  
  
"Xander, did you hear me? I wanna have sex!"  
  
Now it was Xander's turn to blush. He put an arm around his girlfriend and wished desperately for the earth to swallow him. Willow was looking at him with that mix of pity and amusement he SO hated...Why oh why did this only happen to him! He tried to leave with as much dignity as possible. "Uhmm.. well.. it's pretty late, isn't it? Sorry Wills but Anya and I... we... we gotta go home and..."  
  
"And have lots of s... humph..." To hell with dignity! He just wanted to run before Willow burst laughing. He smiled apologetically at his friend and, without removing his hand from Anya's mouth, left the store.  
  
Willow stayed in the room trying bravely not to laugh. Those two were just too much. As much as she tried to denie it she really thought they were a cute couple. If only Anya could act more *humanly*! After so many months you would think she would have already learned something more than the entire Kamasutra... Willow still could remember the day Anya had begun to share detaillously some *very* intimate issues with herself and Buffy believing it was part of 'normal girl-talk'. They obviously had stopped her before she said too much but now she firmly thought that there were some things a girl should *never* know about his best friend, ex-crush or not.  
  
"Willow? Where is everyone?" Giles entered the shop carrying several boxes with the strangest items in them. New merchandise, surely.  
  
"Xander and Anya just went home to... uhmm..." She certainly wouldn't discuss her friends' private life with the Watcher. Better yet, she wouldn't even *think* about her friends' private life... she had her own one to care about, after all. "...watch a movie"  
  
Giles raised his eyebrows. "Watch a movie? Ha! They only think about sex and more sex... Typical youth!"   
  
Willow's eyes widened at the unGiles-like behavior. The stuffy ex-librarian had actually said the s-word... and without even blushing! What would come later? Xander playing chess amiably with Angel?  
  
"And Buffy?"  
  
Uh...oh... how do you explain to a Watcher that his Slayer wasn't in town because she was screwing her not-so-ex vampire-boyfriend who was now an human being?? There were few times where sweet Willow damned her friends to hell... and this was one of them.   
  
"Well Giles, you see, yesterday Buffy received a call and..."  
  
  
*Some time later*  
  
"WHAT??!"  
  
Willow sighed. Yup, men were always that dense.  
  
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*Some weeks later. 13th February*  
  
"WHAT??!"  
  
Angel cringed at his girlfriend's voice.  
  
"Angel O'Connor," Uh...oh... complete name: He was dead meat. "I SO do not care if your friend is being stalked by some demon. Tomorrow there is a Valentine's party at the Bronze and you are NOT standing me up. Do you hear me?"   
  
How could he not... Cordelia told him not to call Buffy until the very last moment. But of course he had to be the perfect gentleman and warn her as soon as he could. Then Cordelia told him to brace himself for the consequences...   
  
"But sweetie..."  
  
"Don't 'sweetie' me! Put Wesley or that Gunn guy on the case and be here at 8. And don't you dare to be late!!"  
  
The line went dead.  
  
Angel sighed.   
  
Why wouldn't he hear to Cordy's advice?  
  
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*Valentine's Day. Bronze*  
  
"WHAT??!" Xander stared openmouthed at his redhead friend. "He really did it? I can't believe this."  
  
"Yup. And now Buffy is all mope-y and refuses to go out the room. I left her mumbling about ineffective stakes and torture devises. I think she even mentioned something about chains..."  
  
"I really wouldn't be in Angel's skin for all the money in the world." Xander mumbled before swallowing his soda.  
  
"Don't be so sure" Anya said while trying to accommodate herself on her boyfriend's lap. "I bet she will forget this fuss in no time and then she will find *another* use for those chains." She continued innocently.  
  
Xander choked on his drink.  
  
Willow tried not to giggle. For the first time she agreed wit the ex-demon.  
  
"Are you ok, baby?" Anya said sensing the disconfort in her boyfriend.  
  
Xander only nodded.  
  
Anya cupped his face in her hands and gave him a quick kiss. Then she looked at him seriously. "Promise me never to leave me alone on a Valentine's Day. I still don't get what this day means but if it makes Buffy angry with Angel then I know it is very important. Promise?"   
  
Xander nodded again. What had he ever done to deserve her? She could be strange; but she adored him, just as much as he did her.  
  
Willow sighed. That had to be the most romantic thing Anya had ever done. But, of course, it could never last...  
  
"And where's that boyfriend of yours, Willow? Left you all alone, too? I guess not all are like my Xander."  
  
Willow was about to respond when she spotted a green blur on the stage. 'He really should stop dyeing his hair'. The green head turned and two blue eyes found hers immediately.   
  
"I love you" Both of them mouthed.  
  
As always Willow Rosenberg had only eyes for her loving boyfriend. Even from so far she studied each one of his features. She was so concentrated in her task that she didn't notice that everybody had gone quiet until Oz began to speak.  
  
"Thanks for your attention. As I said today is a special day for all of us, a day to dedicate to our loved ones."  
  
Xander brought Anya closer to him. She smiled sweetly and gave him a peck on the cheek.  
  
"I had planned on presenting you my new song today. I wrote it some weeks ago and it was going to be my present for my girlfriend. It is about love and trust and being together no matter what..."  
  
His eyes connected with Willow's.  
  
Some couples embraced and glanced each other amorously.  
  
"But I just couldn't find the perfect music for it. I know it has to be sweet and romantic, just like her. But no matter how much I tried it wouldn't come to me. So I'm going to just read it. This is for you, Willow, just for you..."  
  
---- *Insert here the most beautiful poem/song of love you've ever read.*  
  
He had neared her table while reading the lyrics. Now he was standing right before her. She smiled through the tears, they were happy tears though. He, the quiet, never-speaking guy, had just recited a wonderful song in front of half Sunnydale. How many guys would go through this for you?   
  
She gasped when he dropped to his knees.  
  
"I love you, Willow. Will you marry me?"   
  
She was surprised. He wanted to *marry* her? Did he really need to ask? She only embraced him with all her might and let him carry her to a more private place.  
  
Xander was simply astounded at Oz' display. He would have never guessed his wolfie friend would do something so... public as his proposal. Maybe Anya would like something like this for theirs...  
  
"Why was she crying? Was she mad at Oz?" She asked clueless.  
  
Xander sighed. Some things never would change... or at least he hoped so. "'Cause she loves him as much as I love you."  
  
She smiled. "I love you too." She paused. "But do me a favor and don't cry. I never could stand a man crying. I remember this time when a woman wished for her husband's penis to be...humph"  
  
Anya decided that his lips on hers were way better than his hands... especially when they had their own work to do...  
  
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*Same time. Backstage*  
  
"WHAT??!"  
  
Willow was beaming with excitement and pride. "I'm so happy for you, Oz. I can't believe this is even happening! First you ask me to marry you and now you tell me a producer will be promoting a tour for The Dingoes through all USA. I'm SO proud of you!"  
  
"Yeah, I'm happy too." He waited for the excitement to wear off and reality to sink in.  
  
"I just can't believe it! The whole country! You'll go to New York and Washington and I...I..." Realization struck her and her eyes widened.   
  
Oz sighed. He had been fearing this.   
  
"I will stay in Sunnydale." She finished in a whisper. Tears began to fall again.   
  
Oz neared his girlfriend and wiped her tears tenderly.   
  
"How much time?" She asked softly.  
  
"Until July." Oz inhaled sharply. He knew Willow wouldn't like it.  
  
"July??! These are MONTHS we're talking about, Oz. You can't leave me for so long. Not just after this" She showed the ring he had just given her. She didn't want to be apart from him, not for a day, even less for 5 months.  
  
"Calm down, baby. It's not as if I'll go tomorrow. There is still some time until the departing day. And then I'll come back... to you." He kissed her slowly and didn't stop until he felt her responding heartily.  
  
"You promise?" She whispered while putting her arms around his neck.  
  
"Yeah" And sealed his promise with another kiss.  
  
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*Same time. Dorms*  
  
*Knock, knock*  
  
"WHAT??!"  
  
Couldn't the world leave her in peace for one night. Just-one-night. She needed to kill something, if that something turned out to be her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend she wouldn't mind a bit. Ugh! To say that she was furious wouldn't begin to describe her state of mind. Angel was supposed to be here *with her* and not in L.A looking for some ugly *thing*. It was Valentine's Day for God's sake! Even the Hellmouth had better manners and did not try to break loose that specific day. (AN: the locket-spell was Amy's fault and not a Hellmouth-y occurrence)  
  
*Knock, knock*  
  
That damned sound again. Whoever was at her door was just about to witness the fury of a very angry Slayer. She pulled the door open with a swift movement and confronted the being at her door...  
  
..who turned out to be only a girl her age.  
  
"Uhmm... are you Buffy?"   
  
Nope, not vampire. But this was the Hellmouth after all, you never were too distrustful with new people.  
  
"Who wants to know?"   
  
"I'm Natty." At Buffy's menacing look the girl continued. "Look, I don't know what your problem is. I live here next door and I was passing in front of my window when I saw something which might interest you." Ending her speech the girl left leaving Buffy openmouthed with the door still open.  
  
'In front of the window'  
  
Curious, Buffy neared hers... and nearly fainted at the sight.  
  
Hundreds of candles had been carefully arranged on the grass forming various figures. There were flowers and 'I love you'-s and 'Buffy'-s and little hearts everywhere. And in the middle of it all there was an inscription made by candlelight, too: 'Please forgive me'  
  
Her heart just melted. Had he done all this just for her? She felt thrown in a twisted scene of 'Romeo and Juliet' and to reinforce her belief her 'Romeo' appeared just in that second out of nowhere, wearing simple jeans and T-shirt and carrying a long stem rose in his hand.  
  
It was perfect.  
  
She watched his mouth moving and knew what he was saying as if he was at her side. 'I love you too' she mouthed back and raced to her door.  
  
Some seconds later she was kissing her boyfriend with all her might.  
  
"Do you forgive me?" he asked when the kiss *finally* ended.   
  
She inhaled the perfume of her rose and grinned at him. "Why should I?"  
  
His eyes lightened and his arms grabbed her with more force. "Because of this" He whispered huskily before kissing her again.  
  
The rose fell forgotten to the grass.  
  
"Some girls have all the luck" Natty muttered jealously and closed the curtain.  
  
  
**THE END ** wait!! WAIT!! not yet!! Keep reading...  
  
  
*Some weeks later*  
  
"WHAT??!"  
  
Buffy stared at him with widened eyes. Angel's smile faltered. Maybe this wasn't the best time to tell her that...  
  
"I could kill you for this. This whole time and I never even suspected..." She mumbled under her breath. Angel gulped nervously. "We've been married for THREE YEARS and you NEVER told me!" Buffy took the Claddagh ring he had just presented her and put it swiftly on her finger. "Now you better do this official, Angel O'Connor and this time make sure to TELL ME!"  
  
Angel sighed. There went the romantic proposal he had been carefully planning for weeks. He had even rented a... Stop! Did she just order him to marry her? What the hell was he complaining about??  
  
"Of course, love" he said and kissed her.  
  
  
*Three months later*  
  
"WHAT??!"  
  
Buffy sighed. Were men always that dense?  
  
"I'm pregnant"  
  
*THUD*  
  
Cordelia was right. Men really had strange reactions to the news.  
  
  
*Fifteen minutes later*  
  
"Angel...? Sweetie...? Wake up!"  
  
THE END (and they lived happily ever after...)  
  
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***Well, it's finished... at last. This crazy 'WHAT??!'-idea had been following me the whole week. Wouldn't let me concentrate on my homework and begged me to write it at the weirdest hours... Don't forget to send me feedback, I'm quite fond of it... Who am I kidding? I LOVE FEEDBACK!! ^_^ So be a nice reader and send it. *** 


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